By Anna Graham
5/5/2017
Dear Anna,
My preteen and I are having an argument over social media. She wants to have her own Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat accounts. I am worried that if she uses social media she will encounter cyberbullying, inappropriate content, and be approached by strangers on the internet. She believes that I am being unfair by not trusting her and ruining her chance to fit in with the kids at her new school. Do I give in and allow her to have her own social media accounts, or do I continue to tell her no for her own safety?
Sincerely, A concerned mother.
Dear Concerned Mother,
Your daughter is right in that by preventing her from using social media you are making her a social outcast. The act of using social media has truly become a part of modern day culture. This is shown by the incredible amount of teens and preteens who use social media throughout the world. Just take a look at this chart that shows the increase of social media use from 2015-2016!
However, you are correct that your daughter can encounter many things online that you would understandably rather her avoid. When it comes to cyberbullying, she is not likely to experience cyberbullying if she is experiencing no other bullying at school. In fact, being the only kid in school not having social media accounts will actually make her a target for bullying.
As for inappropriate content, like sharing sexual messages, while this cannot be totally avoided, you can sit down with your daughter and discuss what is appropriate and what is not to publish on the internet. And by strangers, I’m assuming you are worried about sexual predators contacting your daughter. This can be avoided by explaining to your daughter to not become friends with people online that she doesn’t also know in person.
I suggest allowing your preteen to take part in using social media, but discuss with her the safe ways in which to use these websites.
Sincerely,
Anna
Dear Anna,
My teenage boy spends all his time either on his phone or laptop! As soon as he gets home from school he is on some kind of device on the internet. While he does get his homework done, he ends up staying up incredibly late every night to get it done because he’s been on the internet all day. This makes him sleepy and grumpy the next day. He even brings his phone to dinner and plays with it under the table! Is my son addicted to the internet? If so, what do I do about it? It’s not like I can ban a kid in this day and age from using the internet!
Sincerely,
Just Put the Phone Away!
Dear Just Put the Phone Away,
For me it is especially worrisome that your son is losing sleep over his habit.
I do agree with your assessment that you cannot simply ban your teenager from using the internet. But you can set limits. One of the first things I would do is to tell your son that he cannot use the internet until he gets his homework done, that way he will not stay up late at night cramming.
I would also tell your teen that by a certain time at night the home becomes an electronic-free zone, so that way he doesn’t switch staying up late to finish his homework to staying up late browsing Instagram for hours. Suggest this by appealing to the fact that he will start feeling much more energized and in a better mood when he starts getting more sleep.
As for at the dinner table, make this an electronic-free zone as well. However, this will not work unless you are leading by example, which means that the adults in the household cannot not bring their electronics to the dinner table as well.
Sincerely,
Anna
WAK News 